John

[theangelfell]

Aziraphale rather liked visiting churches, though he'd done less of it these days. Perhaps a small part of him was afraid that being more conspicuous in God's view might make those Up There decide to start paying attention to him again. And if that happened he was pretty sure they wouldn't like what they saw.

"Mr. Fell," said the priest kindly when he walked into the sanctuary. "How very nice to see you." He was just stepping out of the confessional booth, so he paused and said, "Did you come to take confession?"

Aziraphale blurted, "No," so very quickly that it was probably suspicious.

The priest blinked, and then lowered his voice a little and said, "Just so you know, Mr. Fell, I consider myself a progressive member of the clergy, and you won't find yourself doing hail marys for perfectly natural forms of lo - "

"I just came to sit and pray," Aziraphale said quickly, cheeks turning quite pink.

The priest only smiled. "Well it's nice that you're here. I've been wanting to share a book with you. I came across it recently and thought you might like a look."

Aziraphale brightened. "That would be so lovely. Thank you, father."

The priest nodded, and then shuffled away, leaving Aziraphale standing at the front of the sanctuary.

Comments

[petty_dabbler]

"You're not here for me?" John asked in utter confusion.

[theangelfell]

"Why would I be here for you?" Aziraphale said, sounding utterly confused. "Who are you?"

[petty_dabbler]

"John Constantine, " he replied, as if the angel ought to know.

"I got a message to meet someone here."

The voice coming through his telly hadn't been entirely clear on who it might be, but an angel didn't surprise him.

[theangelfell]

"Well, I'm afraid it wasn't me," said Aziraphale. "Oh dear, I really hope that doesn't mean we're expecting another angel." He looked anxious.

[petty_dabbler]

"Wouldn't that be the cherry on top," he grumbled. He gave Aziraphale a pointed going over and then cocked his head.

"What's your story then, if you're not here for me?"

[theangelfell]

"I like the stained glass windows," Aziraphale said. "And the priest has a book for me."

He was still looking around, too. Maybe he should leave before anyone else showed up. But the book!

[petty_dabbler]

"The stai-" he started, but then the doors to the church opened and Gabriel walked in.

"Oh, shit," he mumbled.

[theangelfell]

"Oh, dear," agreed Aziraphale in the exact same tone of voice.

[petty_dabbler]

Gabriel walked forward, today in the form of a tall, wilowy androgynous form in a tailored Tom Ford.

"John," Gabriel said, then looked at the other angel. "And Aziraphale. What a surprise. I thought you'd...you know."

Gabriel mimicked a little explosion with his fingers.

[theangelfell]

"Clearly not," said Aziraphale. Gabriel looked different He must have discorporated. Aziraphale liked this one; reminded him a bit of Crowley. "You're looking well."

[petty_dabbler]

"I thought I'd try a new..post-apocalypse look. The Metatron says it's the least disturbing human form It's seen," Gabriel smiled.

John very slowly started to inch toward the side exit. As if the angels might not notice.

[theangelfell]

Aziraphale was relieved that Gabriel didn't seem to want to... well, haul him up there for some kind of further admonishment. He liked the state of things now, how they just ignored each other. What if they started to get an inkling of his relationship with Crowley?

"Gabriel, were you here to see him?" Aziraphale asked politely, gesturing t John.

[petty_dabbler]

"Ah! Yes. John," the archangel smiled is the most discomforting way. John slouched back.

"Yeah, yeah I know," he said. "The Manchester thing won't happen again." Might as well pre-empt the scolding.

[theangelfell]

Aziraphale looked a bit alarmed. It was never good to have Gabriel scold you for something. "What did he do?"

[petty_dabbler]

"He took it upon himself to invoke your brethren to kill an angel," he said sharply, glaring at John.

"He was working with a demon!" John protested. "Not the best angel you ever had."

[theangelfell]

Aziraphale coughed, and then pretended he wasn't there.

[petty_dabbler]

"Yes, yes. Details, details," Gabriel scoffed. "Still, you can't just do that, John."

"Wot, you think you lot are the only ones who know how to smite?" the warlock snorted. "I'll smite you, I'll smite him, I'll smite this bloody church if I find out you're in league with Lucifer's crew."

"Yes, yes," Gabriel said soothingly. He looked like he'd very much like to grab John and tear out his skull and spine with one quick jerk.

[theangelfell]

Aziraphale wondered if his man had met Crowley yet.

"Perhaps I ought to be going..." offered Aziraphale politely.

[petty_dabbler]

"No. Aziraphale...I have a new job for you. This is John Constantine. He's your new charge."

"Oh, come on!" John protested.

[theangelfell]

Aziraphale blinked at him. "What does that mean? I'm not a nanny!"

[petty_dabbler]

"I don't need a nanny," John grumbled.

"Not a nanny," Gabriel said. "You're just going to make sure that this man is staying on the straight and narrow."

John looked at Aziraphale and smirked.

"Good fucking luck, love," he said.

"And now that's taken care of! Aziraphale, I'm so glad you volunteered," Gabriel smiled. "You two crazy kids get to know each other."

The archangel vanished.

[theangelfell]

Aziraphale was still a bit stunned for a moment, particularly since he knew that the Home Office thought he'd gone too "native" to do any real angel-ing.

"Not to worry," he said miserably. "He's probably just hoping we'll smite each other."

[petty_dabbler]

"Oh, I'll discorporate the shit out of you if you pull anything dodgy," John said, then sighed.

"Now you seem like a smart bloke. Why don't we make an arrangement where you don't bother me and I won't bother you," he offered.

[theangelfell]

Aziraphale sighed. "My point is, they don't like me either. And my reprieve has apparently lasted long enough, they'd just love an excuse to yank me back and put me on desk duty. So, no."

[petty_dabbler]

John groaned in frustration.

"I don't need another angel up my ass," he grumbled.